It’s very odd how life has a way of going exactly opposite the way you planned. Right now, I’m sitting in my house in Jersey, completely across the country from what my entire life consisted of a short 3 months ago. I never would have pictured myself here. Outside of my hometown, outside of school, outside of my intended career path, and definitely outside of my comfort zone.
When I was growing up, I was never sure of what I wanted to be. As I got older, I knew I wanted to see the world and that I wanted whatever occupied most of my time to positively impact the people around me. Other than that, I had no clue. It worried me that I never had any sort of plan or goal because it seemed like everyone around me knew exactly where they were going. I wasn’t okay with my uncertainty, so I sought answers.
To give you some background about me, I was born, raised and went to college all in the same town. At around age 17, I became really complacent with having been in the same place my whole life. More and more every day, I was aware of how much I was living in a bubble. Don’t get me wrong though, I really liked that bubble! It was comfy and I was always surrounded by people I loved. I knew that, for whatever reason, life had not taken me from this place and I was (mostly) okay with that, mainly because I knew that this place would never be my final destination. It was clearly always just the starting line.
I am naturally a planner (and over-thinker) at heart, so it didn’t take long for me to start fighting against myself, hating that I didn’t know exactly what I wanted. My natural instinct has always been to have it all figured out, and I’m usually extremely persistent in accomplishing this task. However, my future plans always stayed elusive to me.
It eventually came to a point where I realized I needed to reframe my thinking. Figuring out your path isn’t about knowing, it’s about the finding. What I needed to focus on wasn’t the end goal, but the process of getting there.
“Fall in love with the process and the results will come” -Eric Thomas
I started to move towards doing all the things that I loved, knowing that it would lead me in the right direction. I was extremely happy in my college years, having chosen a major I loved and surrounding myself with family, friends that became family, music and theatre. Life couldn’t have been sweeter. I also found what I thought was going to be my immediate career path: event production. I had the privilege of getting to start in that field before graduation and thought I had all I needed. However, the feeling of complacency and need to move never left me. I love my hometown dearly, but I knew my time there was coming to an end.
On a very unimportant afternoon, I had a life changing conversation with my sister and best confidant, Rachel. We were discussing (yet again) my desire to move and try something new when she suggested that I become a flight attendant. I immediately turned down the idea without giving it a second thought, but ultimately my sister’s persistence and understanding of what I wanted in life is what led me to where I am today. I will always be grateful for that conversation and, more so, our close friendship. It has blessed me immeasurably.
In the most crazy, perfect way, the next few months flew by and then my hometown tour came to a close. I spent my last weekend in town doing and being around everything I loved. On Friday I graduated and celebrated, on Saturday I threw my last wedding with the event production company, and on Sunday I packed my bags and moved to flight attendant training. Everything was working perfectly according to my non-plan.
Although being a planner will always be a huge part of who I am, I have found a deep love for the spontaneity of a new adventure. I could never have anticipated that life would lead me across the country and everywhere in between, but I’m exactly where I am supposed to be. That’s all I need.
“Where ever you are, be all there” -Jim Elliot
(but never stay for too long) 😉